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Foiled UK Terror Plot Prompts RED Alert, Liquid Ban

deo.jpg US authorities raised the threat level to “red” for all British flights and “orange” for all other flights earlier today, banning all carry-on liquids on airplanes. Soldiers are now stationed in many American airports, presumable pointing guns at anyone with an Aquafina bottle or an all-too-quick application of liquid mascara.

These measures have been prompted by a recently foiled UK bomb plot. It is not yet known if this conspiracy was an al-Qaeda operation, but from the limited amount of information that has been released, it is clear the plans were rather elaborate. They also involved a “liquid chemical threat” which is why all liquids and gels have been banned on domestic and international flights until further notice. Water bottles, toothpaste, deodorant, Free Samples of CellaDerm, and bottles of wine all have to be thrown out before boarding any flight today, which has caused long lines and many delays at airports throughout the country.

Related: Foiled Plot, Long Lines

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I was at the airport this morning and officials were making an older woman give up her tube of ben gay, among other personals. I feel so much safer now. Come on.

Comment by flying is fun? — August 10, 2006 @ 4:01 pm

[…] Jesus. What’s with the fat man at JFK asking me to take my sandals off at the gate and frisking my robe like it’s some sort of creepy Government-Mandated Frotteurism Program? I mean nailclipping people to death hasn’t been done since back when I was a baby, my Dasani bottle won’t blow anything up, and old lady slippers can’t be thrown hard enough at the flight attendant to cause anything more than a few weird stares? Confiscating nail clippers, forbidding water and Starbucks on airplanes, and shoe inspections aren’t going to keep the air safe – prayers and accepting me into your heart are. […]

Pingback by What Would Jesus Hate? » Blog Archive » Jesus hates Airport Security — August 10, 2006 @ 5:08 pm

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